Deadhead Disco

 Last night I dreamt I was cycling somewhere at dusk, I had one of those white bicycles that are left as memorials or markers at the site of cyclist fatalities. On the road was a long almost naked man, a red head man- stretched out half on the road hanging of the pavement- he was dead. He looked a lot like the dead man I saw once, who I had seen moments before swerving onto the onramp- whose car was out of control. He also looked a lot like the notorious Cape Townian con-man Kevin Hennings, the guy with the problematic moniker 'Ginger Junkie' who pretends to be a stranded North American crime victim. Anyway I freaked out and then called for help, rang 999 who didn't answer because yeah it was my dream. I then noticed my bicycle was gone and so I began to freak out. I then got into a Traveller type caravan and it was filled with Afrikaans speaking, rough sleeping types. They said they would help me, then I noticed my phone was missing. And as usual my dreams spiral into anxious object hunts- if only I could detach and realise I was sleeping and then experience my dreamscapes. Instead I'm furiously obsessed with finding my dream phone. South Africa and England merging into one in my unconscious mind, of course it would- in September it will have been 10 years since moving to England. Ridiculous. I miss South Africa all the time, and then there are elements I am glad to be away from. Having Generalised Anxiety Disorder and being paranoid about violent crime is no a good combination no no.

I've started reading Mark Fishers blog in earnest. Loads of music there to mine and also it feels like time travelling, not in a nostalgic way wink wink- but maybe more like reading a novel. It reads well especially in the context of his end point. Also this contextualises my Red Haired deadman- my father- who also suicided

Music wise- Up until last night I though Arthur Russell was contemporary. His pics look soo contemporary and so hipster, I had no idea he was real deal 80's/90's, I kind of shrugged him off even though I loved his music.